batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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