Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
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Well now I have my semen on her headphones
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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