jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
