Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
