Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
