Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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