Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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