when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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