I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
