Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
