Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i've created a new STD.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
