meet me or not, i'm out of control
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
