spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
