I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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