I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
