we're blogging at a bar
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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