I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
