i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
