i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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