apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
