Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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