It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He passed out mid-signature
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
