Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
