He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
