what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
