Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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