Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just high enough for therapy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
