i may or may not be watching the land before time
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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