Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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