But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
