I wish life had little blips of pornography
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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