Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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