tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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