you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize