Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize