in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
