apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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