im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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