My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
