I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i dont even know how to be here
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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