She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
