Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
