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• (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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• (914): View more from New York

  My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.

  (845): View more from New York

  She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?

  (914): View more from New York

  well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey

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• (607): View more from New York

  she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.

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• (212): View more from New York

  The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  That's better than I've done so far.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue

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• (631): View more from New York

  I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable

  (303): View more from Colorado

  thermos full of jaeger bombs?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Affirmative

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?

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