C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay