when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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