he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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