I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dating After Heartbreak
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.