I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
