Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
