This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
