Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
