You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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