I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
