Barsexuality is the new black.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
