you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
