i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize