i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Still dying that you shit outside
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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