I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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