So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
