you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
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Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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