The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
