Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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