I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
