why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
